Creepy Computer Game Icons of the Past
As 2010 dawns upon us, I am reminded more than ever of just how distant some savory and not-so-savory moments of pop culture's finest decade – the 1990s – have become: Kurt Cobain's death and the Republican Revolution happened sixteen years ago, the Green Bay Packers last went to the Super Bowl thirteen years ago, and the Detroit Lions were last contenders of any sort well over a decade ago.
Another thing that inevitably falls into this category? Old computer games.
Ah, yes. Among many other things, the 1990s were the pinnacle of computer gaming, be it on the Macintosh, Windows, or that fancy Amiga thing. Whether it was a cross-country trip to Oregon (1992), exploring Richard Scarry's world of Busytown (1993), or cleaning up DirtY RoomS (1998), there seemed to be a little of something for everyone.
One notable publisher from this decade, at least for me, was Humongous Games. Humongous, a California-based operation founded in part by a woman who later went to jail for financial misdeeds, published a series of point-and-click games intended for small children from the early 1990s up until their acquisition by Atari Inc. (then Infogrames) in the early 2000s. These educational offerings later expanded to a sports-related series of “Backyard”-themed games, many of which are still maintained and updated to this day.
Of course, while many of these series - “Putt-Putt” and “Fatty Bear”, to name two - were quite enjoyable, even for those older than small children, many of their CD icons left much to be desired. Nobody said that Humongous had to have a good icon designer, right? Don't believe me? Let's go!
Exhibit A: Putt-Putt Goes to the Moon (1992)
WOO-HOO! Putt-Putt feels heavy metal...or maybe he's just channeling Major Kong from Doctor Strangelove, seeing how he's holding on to that rocket and everything.
In fact, the expression on Putt-Putt's face is almost as enigmatic as the science behind a convertible and a dog's ability to travel a few hundred thousand miles to our planet's lone natural satellite in a matter of seconds with no noticeable health effects to speak of. Is Putt-Putt happy? Sad? Going crazy from a lack of oxygen? Maybe he's deriving some sort of sick and twisted sexual pleasure from strapping himself onto a rocket; his eyes seem to suggest something along those lines.
Perhaps Dr. Putt-Putt has simply learned to stop worrying and love the rocket.
Exhibit B: Fatty Bear's Birthday Surprise (1993)
Oh, dear lord. What in the name of Pajama Sam is Fatty Bear trying to tell me with that sort of expression on his face? I've always enjoyed the game that this icon represents, but with that sort of look on Fatty Bear's face, I might have to reconsider that.
You know, Fatty Bear is supposed to be a little girl's stuffed animal. If I had a stuffed teddy bear that did half of the things Fatty Bear does in one night in this game, I'd probably call the Ghostbusters.
Exhibit C: Unnamed “PUTTDEMO” (circa 1993)
Your name is “PUTT”, eh? Thanks for sharing. Given your looks in this icon, I'll go get the Exlax.
Exhibit D: Putt-Putt Travels Through Time (1997)
...or, as Windows knows it, PUTTTIME! In a fairly radical departure from Putt-Putt games before it — the ones that generally revolved around mundane things like entering a parade or even Major Konging it to the Moon — Putt-Putt traveled through time.
Yes, that's right, he traveled through fucking time... and he did it without altering his own timeline in the process.
You know what? Putt-Putt – or at least that asshole Mr. Firebird that sent Putt-Putt to the Moon and through time, both accidentally – has probably done everything, including your mother. In fact, he probably went back in time to do that, too... because he's fucking Putt-Putt.
Unfortunately, despite Putt-Putt's status as a Steven Seagal/Chuck Norris badass extraordinaire, he can't seem to buy himself a decent icon designer. Honestly, what is Putt-Putt doing here? Yeah, I get that he's entering that jackass Mr. Firebird's wormhole and apparently doing it with a smile, but couldn't we be a little more descriptive here...like a clock, perhaps?
Maybe it's a good thing that I haven't used a PC until very recently, since – with the exception of PUTTTIME – I didn't have the misfortune of experiencing many of these freaky-ass icons on the Macintosh. As someone who was freaked out by Reader Rabbit and the intro screen to Super Mario 64 as a small child, the image of Putt-Putt Major Konging off on a rocket to Luna would've probably resulted in night tremors.
Then again, maybe not. Scary/creepy/enigmatic logos don't change the happy memories that I've long associated with these games. Stay badass, Putt-Putt; you're probably off single-handedly remedying the world's many ailments as I write this, even if Infogrames did buy you out and bastardize your prestige.
Creepy? Weird? Have your own creepy game logos that you'd like to share? Write in with your questions, additions, and other associated comments to captainnosebleed (at) electronicrenaissance (dot) com, and your comments could end up in the next edition of Captain's Mailbox.
